In the beginning there was void, and you couldn't find a decent beer anywhere.
Then god spake forth and said, "I wanna cookie !" And chocolate chip cookies appeared, god tasted them and they were chewy and good.
Then god looked forth for someone to tell how good the cookies were, but there was void, so god created a place, and called it "here." And then god caused to appear a man, right here, and called him "You."
Then god spake, "Hey You, try one of these cookies, they're great !" Then You partook of the cookies, and raved as to the goodness thereof.
Then You looked for someone else to tell about the wondrous cookies of chocolate chip, but there was no one but him and god, and god already knew of them.
Them You spake unto god, beseeching, "Who can I tell about these great cookies ?" And god created woman, and called her "Wowza," for her form was exceedingly fair to look upon.
You then spake unto her and said, "Wowza, you gotta try one of these cookies !" Wowza partook of the cookies, and said "They're Ok." Then hid herself from You and god, and ate the entire box of cookies.
Then god waxed wroth and spake, "You ! Where are my cookies ?" and You turned and cried, "Wowza ! She bogied the whole box !"
And god sent forth a curse of cellulite and smote Wowza on the hips, causing You to look upon her and go "Yuck !"
Then Satan, He of rice cakes and Iceberg lettuce, did appear and sent to Wowza a divorce lawyer to comfort her in her grief.
And thus did Here become a place of bedevilment and God quoth, "Next time, I'll send out for pizza, and not tell anyone, including You !"